He's a Walker!

It's official, Luke is a walker! Two days ago he took about 4 or 5 steps. Then later that evening on two different occasions, he was in the middle of the floor and spotted a toy. He stood up without holding onto anything and just walked over to it. Like a pro! Of course I can't get a picture of him doing it, so the picture will have to wait. It is so fun! He is just beside himself with glee. He grins so big because he has figured out that it is a BIG deal. He has also figured out that he will be able to play with the big boys more if he can walk. Oh no! I'm in trouble.

He also has figured out it is cool to make the big boys laugh. I had Seth in the car with us yesterday. Luke started smacking his head and bopping around. Seth and Aidan cracked up and he ate it up! He kept doing it until he was giggling so hard, he could hardly keep his head up. What fun stuff!

Happy Veteran's Day!

Today as I do my normal Mommy stuff, checking some blogs, I came across the Steven Curtis Chapman website. In a year of loss for me, and a mother of two little ones, I was very moved by this family's loss of their 5 year old daughter adopted from China. I can't even imagine and it makes me teary to think about it. But what an amazing story they have! Their faith in God and His plan moves them daily to continue to serve Him and to get up each day.

Today is Veteran's Day. I must admit I don't give much thought to it. I don't give much thought to the fact that I can write on a website about my own faith. I don't give much thought to the fact that I can teach my boys about Jesus and not one fear crosses my mind. It is the bravery and service of these veterans that allows me to move through my day without any real fear. I am thankful, and often list these things in my prayers, but on such a miniscule level. I have grown to expect freedom and forget that it costs many people and families much more than I can imagine. I'm happy to sit in my safe world and take it all for granted. Today I pray for forgiveness and for the heart that is much more grateful.

Back to Steven Curtis Chapman...he wrote a new song while visiting the Bethesda Naval Hospital recently. He met a man who had just returned from Afghanistan a couple of weeks before and had just the day before Steven's visit, had part of his legs removed. You can hear the song on his website, after you sign up for the newsletter. It is called Thomas McBride. Sorry, I haven't figured out how to link stuff yet. It all just reminded me that if I do nothing else, I can have a grateful heart and look for ways (other than at Christmas) to minister to those serving us and protecting our freedom.

Our church is very active with the local military in San Diego and I have absolutely no excuse! One cool thing that they do is send a letter (via volunteers like, hmmmm, me?) to military men and women who have just accepted Jesus as their Savior. Just a note of encouragement and welcome. Ok, that's not that hard to do, but I'm sure it has a great impact. I've got to start small, huh?

So now you know how my heart really looks....is there someone you need to thank today? God bless!

Happy Halloween

We had a great time last night at our church's harvest party. Luke did very well with his lion costume....mane and all! He was in the stroller to start off, but we went inside to where they had things for smaller kids. He took off and wanted to "walk" around. He is so close to walking. The blog post will be coming soon, I am sure. Aidan loved being called superman. He got this cute grin whenever we'd say superman instead of Aidan. Our church has moved into a big new facility and they went all out! There must have been 10 different inflatable things. I had never seen a few, but the best was the foosball inflatable. There were ropes across the sides and kids were belted to the ropes. They could only move sidways, like foosball. Then of course the necessary bounce houses, an obstacle course and the slides. Aidan only played one game...fishing. He is too smart! They put the fishing rod over the wall and pulled out candy clipped to a clothes pin. Right away, he asks, "what's back there?" They were gracious and let him look over, although I'm not sure he saw the person because when I asked, he said there was candy back there. They told him to keep it a secret, so the person must not have hidden. There was also an animal show. They were just putting away the alligator when we walked in. That was all Aidan could talk about...until they pulled out the boa constrictor. They had 5 kids come up and hold it! I'm not into reptiles! On the way home, Aidan said he wanted to hold it. We told him he probably had to be 6.

We didn't come home with an obscene amount of candy, for which I am thankful. Although Aidan did have nerds and hot tamales for dessert after breakfast! Daddy told him he could pick two. He's so great! I would have told him one. I have made one thing of smarties last all week. They were in the goody bags from Luke's party. Aidan doesn't get much candy, so he had no idea most people eat the whole thing of smarties at once! I know, I'm so mean. I figure I better enjoy it while it lasts.

Happy Birthday Luke!

Luke,

I can't believe you are a year old already! Where did the time go? You are such a joy and a blessing to our family. A year ago with just three weeks to prepare, we learned you were to join our family. Those were the longest three weeks ever! God knew I couldn't stand a 9 month pregnancy! What fun it has been to have two boys in my life. You are becoming quite independent. You want to walk and are sooooo close. You have taken up to two steps at a time, for about two weeks now. You barely hold on when you walk along walls and furniture.
You have the greatest smile and a great belly laugh. You have almost all your teeth already. The last molar and eye tooth popped through yesterday.

We had a great time Sunday celebrating your birthday with all of our friends. You wore the traditional Hanbok and tolerated it quite well. We laid out many items on a blanket for you to choose from...to let us know what your future may hold. A Bible, book, paintbrush, string, money, tamborine and a computer mouse. You chose the mouse. Daddy says you'll be an engineer. We tried to get you to choose a second item, but you wanted to know where the mouse was. We ate bulgogi, ChopChae and some other Korean dishes. We sent everyone home with rice cakes and m&ms with your picture on them. It was a late night but you were a trooper and played and laughed for everyone.

You have a strong opinion and definite perseverance. Someday that is going to serve you well. Some days it frustrates me, but I trust that God is going to shape and mold that so He can use you for his purposes. Our prayer for you, as your name means, is that you will become a strong man of God who shines His light to all you meet. Luke, you were hand picked by God to join our family and you are a special boy. I can't wait to see all God has in store for you. You are much prayed for and a very loved boy. May you always know how much I love you! Happy birthday pumpkin.

So Big!

I haven't posted a recent picture of Luke lately. Here he is...so big. He is now standing up on the furniture, crawling more each day and climbing over stuff like a pro. I can't believe he is 9 months already. He and Aidan have such a great time together. I told Jim the other day while listening to them in the back seat of the car laughing hysterically, "this is why I wanted at least two kids." It is heart melting to hear them have such fun together. I know someday I'll wish they weren't so silly and loud, but for today, I love it!

Where does he get this stuff?

Last night's dinner conversation....Aidan, what are you doing? I am trying to get my head off (making a strained face and pulling on the chair). Why are you doing that? I think I need a new one. Maybe a blue one.
Life has been lots of fun lately with these kinds of interactions with our 3 1/2 year old. Adding to that is Luke's mobility. He is almost crawling, pulls up on the furniture and has a new perspective on life...much higher.
We have had a nice summer spending time with family and enjoying a slower pace. I'm ready for our fall activities, though. I enjoy the structure of planned activities...at least for our mornings. More pictures to come.

We are not taking the stroller

Today, as usual, Aidan asked where we were going after I took my shower. I told him we were going to the mall. He sat for just a minute with a smile on his face. He then said "we aren't taking the stroller." I asked him what we were going to do with Luke? Without hesitation, he said, "you'll put him in the carrier." Patting his chest. "And I will walk and we will all go on the escalator!" Brilliant! The way he presented this grand idea, you would have thought he had been working out the plan for days. Maybe he has. Actually it has probably been 7 months. That's how long it's been since we've been to the mall without the stroller. Every time we go, which isn't even that often, Aidan asks to ride the escalator. My answer is always, no because we have the stroller. The saddest part was that we went out to the car...got all strapped in the car seats...and nothing. The car was beyond dead. My door had been slightly cracked...must have been enough to leave a light on. Talk about a sad boy! They were real tears of sadness. Not even a real tantrum. He just sobbed there in his car seat. I must say he handled it all very well considering the excitement he had about finally riding the escalator after all these months. He pulled himself together and got out of the car. He rode his bike outside for a while. Without any pouting. I was a bit sad, too. It is such a fun part of my job, seeing my 3 year old get totally excited about stuff I don't think twice about.

I thought about the scene. That is me sometimes. Just really sad when my plans don't work out. When God says, No, not today. Sometimes I throw a fit and melt down, but sometimes it is just plain sadness because I thought it was such a great idea. I wondered if God gets that little pain when we cry over our sadness. But I realized that God sees the bigger picture..what's better because of the No. All I had to offer Aidan was riding his bike in the driveway instead of riding the escalator. I'm sure we will make it to the mall soon. Aidan doesn't give up on an idea very easily.

First Game

It has begun! Soccer is just the beginning I am sure. Aidan is a total sports nut. He started soccer last saturday and is loving it. Everyone we meet hears that he is having his first soccer game. I'm not sure how many games will go by before he stops this or stops referring to them as his first soccer game. Everyone is quite gracious and listens to him tell about it. His biggest concern at first, after the game, was that he fell. They are all 3 or 4 years old...there was lots of falling! He later realized he didn't make a goal and was also upset about that. It was actually a fun game to watch. For the most part everyone paid attention and tried to run after the ball. At the beginning, though, there were two boys, both named Aidan, who liked just to run and follow the lines on the field. After about 4 minutes into the game, they caught on and ran with the ball. I'm not sure he understood what the goalie was to do and before his game had said he wanted to be goalie. When the game started, the coach asked Aidan if he wanted to be goalie and he said an emphatic NO! We'll see. I'm sure there will be more stories to share.

Firsts

Some firsts are great. Others, not so much. Today was the first time I've lost my son, Aidan. We were at the grocery store. The very familiar, I only turned my head for a second, was me. Aidan had told me he needed to use the restroom. He loves to explore public restrooms. Yuck! Anyway, I told him he needed to wait one minute while I checked out the meat section. Bam, he was gone. He had been running back to make faces at the butcher, so I walked down there...no Aidan. Walked around the freezer...no Aidan. PANIC! I walked toward the restroom and what seemed like 5 minutes later, out he comes of the restroom! He was so proud of himself and I was fighting the tears. Two sweet ladies were sitting in the pharmacy waiting area watching the whole thing. One came up to me and almost hugged me. I guess I looked pretty pathetic. After the lecture to Aidan, I finally took a breath. If you've ever been there, you know how awful that feeling is. Needless to say, Aidan was not allowed to let go of the cart the rest of the trip. He loves the carts with the cars. I hate them. Not anymore!

A more fun first was tonight. Aidan's first soccer game meeting. His first game is Saturday. He is number 5. It should be pretty entertaining, since they are mostly 3 year olds playing and they only blow the whistle if someone picks up the ball and runs with it. The highlight, we've been told is snacktime after the game. Oh what fun. It's pretty fun to watch him be so excited about something.

There were several reasons I chose to name my blog Passing Through. Lots of things in this life bring me to the realization that we really are just passing through this life. Just before I started this blog, my aunt died. Today is my aunt's birthday. She lived in St. Louis and I am here in California. My mom's only sister, and the only aunt I was close to. Mother's day was always a big deal in our family as we also celebrated lots of May birthdays. Two of my sisters have May birthdays. My aunt and uncle shared birthdays only days apart. Then when my cousin married, of course he married a May birthday! There were many holidays we didn't spend with my Grandma and aunt's family, but mother's day was a rare one for us to miss. Since we moved to California almost 7 years ago, I find myself homesick two times a year. Early October, when leaves should be gorgeous shades of yellow, red and orange...and May. Several years ago, when trying to conceive, May was sad for different reasons. But I have always missed the big St. Louis gathering at Mother's day. This year I will miss it, but I know it won't be the same. It will never be the same. For that I am very sad. I miss Aunt Cathy so much. She loved with everything she had. She had such a great sense of humor and always made me laugh. She had the greatest stories. That was the best part of visiting....sitting around Grandma's big dining room table and eating tons of food and sharing stories. It was fun to watch mom and Cathy sit side by side and put their hands over their mouths while laughing hysterically. They had identical hands. They had the same look on their face when they laughed. I ache for my cousins who have now lost both their parents. I ache for my mom who has lost her best friend and only sister. I ache for my Grandma who has outlived most of her family at the age of 91. I sit here and as I list my aches, I know I should be listing my blessings...I know I have a gazillion. But, for right now, I just ache. It is hard to say goodbye. Death is just something so painful and yet, we will see so much of it on this earth. God never intended for this to be it. Hallelujah for that! I really can rest in knowing I will see these people again. It doesn't make today any less painful, but on another day I can rejoice in it. I know God has a purpose for everything he does and allows to happen. I stopped trying to figure it out a long time ago. For right now, I am trying to focus on knowing Him better on this side, so when I meet him face to face, he isn't a stranger. Hearing my aunt and uncle laugh together will just be a bonus.

Adoption Day!

What an awesome day we had yesterday! We finalized the adoption of our second son, Luke. Adoption court is always so great. It is a relaxed atmosphere and everyone is happy to be there. We were first up. We went back to the judge's chambers. He greeted us from the middle of the room. He said a few things to us and to Luke. Then he talked with Aidan about being the big brother. Then we signed the papers and it was official. We took pictures with the judge and he told us this is the best part of his job. I should hope so! We left the judge's chambers and got copies of the adoption papers. Then we were led to the table of stuffed teddy bears. We let Aidan pick one out for Luke. He chose a very soft brown bear with a bright red ribbon. Neither boy had any real idea what we were doing there, but Jim and I were thrilled. We celebrated with pancakes at the Original Pancake House. Luke stayed awake and was just giddy. Kind of how I felt. Our first adoption was a long drawn out process, so to finalize before Luke turned 6 months old was a huge relief. We spent the rest of the day relaxing at home, enjoying a day home with daddy in the middle of the week. Jim grilled steaks for dinner. They were awesome. It was a great day and would have only been better if our families had been able to join us.

Changing my blog name

I really think I need to change the name of my blog to "what am I freeing my child's body from today?" Again on Saturday my three year old, Aidan, needed my help. This time we were on our way to the local fire station for a community event. I had just parked and hear Aidan whimpering int he back seat. I look back and he has a finger deep in his nose. Mind you, this is not all that unusual, but this time I knew it was different. He had that look. I immediately knew what was wrong. Unfortunately this is not the first time this has happened. He was eating some fruit snacks. Not the large character shaped ones, just plain naturally flavored small square ones. He put one in his nose. Then proceeded to try to get it out by sticking his finger in, which only shoved it up farther. He did this over a year ago and I thought he learned. At first I wasn't concerned..he is a pretty good nose blower. However after several attempts he wasn't making any progress and I saw blood. I just told him to blow as hard as he could. I seriously thought we were going to have to go into the fire station requesting help! He finally blew it out. I didn't bother asking why he did it. I knew the answer would be of the "because I'm a boy and I could" variety. Of course when we got home and I told my husband, he just shook his head and laughed. People assure me I will survive these boys, but I am not so sure.

Raising Boys

Everyday it seems that I am laughing at my son and the crazy things he does. I have three sisters and no brothers. All this boy stuff is foreign to me. Today, of course as we are trying to get ready to be out the door for a doctor's appointment, I hear Aidan yelling/crying. I come into the living room to find him laying on the floor under a rocking horse. Upon closer look, he is not under it, but his head is stuck between the front legs. I figure I just need to help him slide his head out. Wrong! The more I try, the harder he cries. I had to take the whole thing apart to get his head out. Of course a 3 year old can't tell you why he does something, but I had to ask. His reply is the usual one....I wanted to put my head in there. My husband assures me these things are normal and will continue for a long time. He just stuck his head in between the legs of the rocking horse because he could. At least there was no blood and I didn't have to call the fire department, which is what I was sure was going to happen. I'm sure the day will come. Luke is only 5 months old and once the boys are able to put their heads together I'm sure the fire department will have to be called. For now, I'm just off to reassemble the rocking horse. Maybe I shouldn't. Hmmmm

Mom stuff

Today has been a day of just fun mommy stuff. My three year old has been giving me attitude lately and so our days have been filled with time outs and discussing his disrespect. My 5 month old has not been the greatest sleeper, ever, so I'm pretty exhausted most of the time. However, today was a much needed fun day with my kids. We started off with a quiet morning of reading books while I got laundry done...way overdue. Luke napped for a solid hour and a half. This is a major feat for him! Then Aidan and I played with his puzzles. He is just amazing at them. Once Luke woke up we headed to the park. He was in a good mood in his car seat and stroller, not always the case. Aidan rode his scooter around the park while I got to walk at a faster than usual pace. I am in desperate need of some exercise, so this was fun. Aidan listened and obeyed the first time I called him each time! We ran around together and played soccer for a bit. Again, loving the little exercise I got. Not to mention it was a beautiful cool sunny day. When it was time to go, Aidan came without a single whine! yaaaaaaaay!

We did our normal lunch, read books, nap routine. I got more laundry done and talked with a friend. Luke slept for only a short while this afternoon, but at least he woke up happy and not the usual screaming. Now I am trying to do too many things...get dinner started, play candyland along with listening to Aidan read books, and finish up laundry. Luke is trying to nap again.
Aidan is looking through the book "Love You Forever". He is cracking up at the pictures. We have read this a ton of times, but not lately, so it is new again. The first thing is a mommy rocking a baby. He started singing rock a bye baby, then got to the really not so nice part of the song. He has this great look of concern where he wrinkles his eyebrows and forehead. He obviously just thought about the words about the baby falling out of the treetop. He says, "hey, the baby will fall?!" I just laughed and said it really isn't a nice son, huh? Why do we sing that to babies? Then he tells the toddler he is NOT to put watches or toothpaste in the toilet. That will be a time out. Then the teenager is making a big mess in the kitchen. He is going to have to clean that up. Then the adult man is making dinner, but Aidan thinks he is making a mess, too. It is funny to hear him repeat me and our conversations after discipline. At least I know he is listening.

Nothing profound or serious, just a day enjoying being a mom. I don't do that enough lately.

Love?

How much do I love Jesus? I've been reading through the One Year Bible in the New Living Translation. This is a translation that I've not read before. It is so refreshing to read familiar stories with new wording. This format has also been good for me in that I read an Old Testament passage along with a New Testament passage. I've always struggled with God as rewarder and punisher. He is, but when I only read the Old Testament, I forget the immense compassion he has for us. Not that he didn't have compassion on the Israelites...how many times did he provide for them and spare them? Today I was struck by the passage I read in Luke 7:47.....A person who has been forgiven little shows only little love. Jesus is talking about the "immoral" woman who annointed his feet with oil and washed them with her tears and hair. She loves him more than the Pharisee who invited Jesus for dinner because she knew the extent of her sins. The Pharisee's sins were no fewer, just less severe in his own eyes.

Is this true of me? Do I think I've been forgiven little? Growing up in a Christian home, going to Christian school, I was not a rebel. I tried to follow the rules and be a good girl. My sins are still many. I didn't have a wild life that I needed to turn around, but still needed God's forgiveness and compassion. Sometimes I wonder if I would love Him more had I come from a darker place. Don't get me wrong, I am so grateful I was spared the turmoil of that pit. I just think I take God's forgiveness for granted and even that I deserve it sometimes.

Just a thought to start my day.

Starting out

This is my first attempt at blogging. I am a mother of two boys. Three years and a 5 month old. I'm not sure how often I'll be posting, but I hope that this will be a place where I can write about my thoughts on life in general. Being a good wife and mother are two priorities, as is being a vulnerable follower of Jesus Christ. As I get older and learn more about my Savior, I realize that I am truly just passing through. Hence, the name of my Blog. I want my life to count for something, and I am realizing that that impact will be through my children and others that I serve. With two small kids, serving outside my home is tricky. Nevertheless, I know it is what Jesus was all about. We'll just see where this goes.